Let The Purge Begin

Hush now, I say to the noise in my head. I find myself often walking through the day feeling heavy, anxious, paralyzed by some chaotic unseen force. Unseen?! Look around me. Look at all the superfluous “stuff”. I’m having trouble keeping up with it all. Are my eyes opening to seeing what has always been there? Was I asleep before or is this a self-created fictional problem at the moment? I’m not one to ever draw definite lines in the sand as I believe life is too complex to be forced into a black and white scheme. I do, however, believe the answer could be either. Regardless, action needs to be had or I will get sucked further down into this null void of oppression.

First I must grapple with discovering my internal soul values. I have no doubt that down deep in the core of my soul there is a very real current of energy that vibrates who I am on a universe/god level. The raw energy of who we are calls to us, wanting us to get in tune with that vibrational energy. This is how we will put our best self out there to engage in this world to do good things.

As the murky waters slowly become more translucent, I start to see some things. What is important? What do I value? Could these be my truths that have been with me always yet are constantly being resisted by outside influences? My desire for life experiences over things… Quality over quantity… Function over fashion… Could I possibly be a minimalist?! No, wait… I don’t like that word so much and I’m sure many people cringe when they too hear it. Instantly thoughts of monks or severe deprivation appear. That’s not what I’m talking about. What are some other words?… Intentionalist?… Simplest?… Less crappy?… On purpose-est??? (Yes… I do enjoy making up my own words from time to time. LOL) Let’s try to reframe the word minimalist, like this…. Minimalism is about letting go of the things that DON’T matter to make room for the things that DO matter. Ahhh… I think I like that much better. Thank you, Joshua Fields Milburn & Ryan Nicodemus @ theminimalists.com for that clarification. With this framework, I might just be able to forge a path forward that makes sense for me even if it has those around me questioning.

Today I awoke long before daylight with anticipation, much like that excited anticipation a child gets on Christmas morning. Instead of eagerly waiting at the top of the stairs until my parents had their 1st cup of coffee and gave us the all clear to head down to our magical filled morning of treasures, trinkets & things… Today I waited until the husband’s car was gone and began piling his vacant spot on the driveway full of glorious things for the donation truck to pick up this afternoon. The smile that reached ear to ear on my face! The Elation! The Joy from the anticipation that there would be this much LESS STUFF under my feet and under my care was so freeing. Yes… then there was that brief moment of quickly looking around at the neighboring houses to see if anyone was watching. REALITY CHECK!! This part needs to be discussed as well. The Debby Downer part. In my head, certainly, people would be judging me. Judging me for having too much stuff. Judging me for getting rid of too much stuff. You know… damned if you do, damned if you don’t, kind of thing. In reality, I’m sure, people aren’t even thinking about me or my stuff at all, LOL. Honestly… does it matter that today I’m getting rid of an inflatable rubber boat that TEN years ago we bought for a $150, that has NEVER been blown up, let alone seen water AND that we paid to have movers move that 3 times in 3 years?!? Yes, I guess it surely speaks to the nature of the problem I’m defining at the moment. The problem I’m currently trying to rectify. I’m owning this mistake and letting it go. I’m sure I will come across many more metaphorical boats along this journey and I will deal with them accordingly. I see a lot of letting go in my future. Alas, I quickly shook off the feelings of shame and guilt for both having and getting rid of so much STUFF and scurried back into the house.

On the way back through the garage, a strange yet most exciting thing happened. As I walked through the less crowded space I saw what I can only describe as another layer. With the stuff that is now happily out in the driveway, awaiting its’ new purpose, my eyes are seeing all the things that were hiding behind the things. Normally a sense of overwhelmedness would wash over me, I would want to give up and succumb to the defeat. That’s it!! The STUFF wins!! This time, however, that’s not what happened. Still riding high on the JOY from the previous driveway scene that just took place moments ago… I felt a surge of excitement. STUFF has been LITERALLY blocking my path through my garage for the past 2 plus years we have lived in this house. Removing the stuff from this morning has LITERALLY widened my path through the garage. I am now getting a glimpse of how much bigger yet my path will be after the next round of clearing. I just can’t help but truly get the real visual metaphor that the universe is showing me here. The more STUFF I have to manage, the harder it is to find the path. Remove what DOESN’T matter and the path is revealed. Simply beautiful!!

Love Light Insight & Blessings To All!!

 

Comments are closed.